Answer to the last quesiton.

I’m feeling pretty cynical today, so keep in mind that’s where thisresponse is coming from. ūüôā

But first, the positive stuff: give yourself a pat on the back formaking the first step and communicating! That’s major progress!

Second, I’m not so sure it’s a bad idea to scare him with fearful¬†numbers and show him he spent twice what was budgeted. If you do this¬†in a kind and loving way, it might get through. I’ve learned that with¬†some people (namely, my dear spouse) the nice, subtle messages just¬†don’t work. Saying very bluntly “I’m worried about our expenses from¬†last month–we spent double what we made, and I’ve got a real problem¬†with that” might actually work.

Again, I really really empathize with you on this. We are going¬†through similar struggles and it’s very frustrating. I’ll reiterate my¬†plea to the group: if anyone knows the magic formula to getting one’s¬†spouse on the same financial page, please tell us!¬†Scare him to death, before reality and life does it for you.

I was studying for a class and must have been thinking about your¬†situation in the back of my mind. Lately I’ve been trying to consider¬†each purchase in the terms of how many hours I have to work to earn¬†the money. Like my car bought a month ago is equal to what I earned¬†by working 341 hours. Compare your husband’s purchases in terms of¬†how many hours he works to pay for them.

For example, say he earns $10 per hour. He buys tools worth $1,500.¬†He must work 150 hours or 3.75 weeks (40 hour work week) to pay for¬†them. Or say the rent is $1,000 a month. That’s 100 hours or 2.5¬†weeks.

Don’t know if this helps you but it’s been helping me when I want to¬†buy things. There’s a book I want to buy that is equal to 2.5 hoursof my pay. It’s the only thing keeping me from buying that ¬†book;¬†thinking how long I’d have to work to earn the money to pay for it.